"You can put the blame on me"

Anyone listening to the hit of rapper Akon, can’t help but feel a similarity with Lebanon. He’s defending himself after having slept with an underage girl. Quite sickening lyrics indeed and impossible to wriggle yourself out of that one, you think? Well, that’s exactly what’s going on with the latest Human Rights Watch report on Lebanon.

The HRW has published a report accusing Hezbollah of targeting civilians during the July War last year. That’s a pretty obvious conclusion, looking at the fact that Hezbollah did indeed fire their rockets seemingly randomly at times. Also, their own statements in which they openly said there would be no red lines (and we all know the importance of those!), was a clear indication they weren’t exactly going to check and double check.

Mind you, that was quite understandable given the Jewish mass slaughtering of innocent Lebanese civilians. Still, the response of Hezbollah and Siniora to the HRW report is telling. Instead of owning up to the consequences of Hezbollah, they went straight into denial mode.

HRW has announced they will also release a detailed study of Israel’s crimes against civilians during the war. And wasn’t it HRW that first came out with a report on the Jewish atrocities already during the war? So accusing the HRW of bias and slander will be a hard sell.

Or so you’d think. A lawyer has already sued the HRW for slander. “Attack is the best defense” or something equally deep, must have been the logic behind this course of action. Bet you can’t wait for the trial as it must be quite a show of creative law. Be sure to remember to hire this lawyer next time you get accused of say, stealing car:

Judge: “The defendant is accused of stealing a car, how do you plead?”
Lawyer: “Not guilty, your honor”

Judge: “But he was seen on three surveillance cameras at the parking lot breaking into the car and speeding off”
Lawyer: “The interpretation of these camera recordings is inspired by a baseless need to incriminate my client, your honor!”

Judge: “Err, but what about the fact that the police caught your client red handed while driving the stolen car?”
Lawyer: “That is clearly in support of our statement that this whole trial is a Zionist ploy to put forward their unfounded accusations, only trying to attack the reputation of my client!”

Judge: “Just to get this straight: he DID steal the car, no?”
Lawyer, blurting out: “Well, but his neighbor has stolen at least 10 cars, why don’t you go after HIM!”