Friday, February 1, 2008

The Daily Star on the weather

"When you're alone and life is making you lonely, You can always go..." read the Daily Star.

Like, yesterday's article about the weather. First, the ever-intelligent reporter asks an expert of the Civil Aviation Department at the Rafik Hariri International Airport (who wants to remain anonymous) if similar storms are to strike Lebanon anytime soon. After a thoughtful pause, or so I can imagine, the official said: "Everything is possible."

Uh-huh, I can see why this expert wanted to remain anonymous! What a wonderful quote and what amazing display of insight in weather forecasting. Good thinking of the reporter to ask an expert and not a random person on the street.

Luckily, there’s more. The expert goes on to say that he “could not deny or confirm claims that the current storm is to be followed by a wave of freezing cold.” No, of course he couldn’t. Everything is possible, remember?

This guy is doing great, so let’s hear what additional pieces of wisdom he’s willing to share with the readers of the Daily Star:

"Every cold wave might be followed by a freezing cold wave," he said. "But it is difficult to confirm this. It is also difficult to predict when it will occur because any storm needs time to be formed."

Ah, yes, a cold wave might be followed by a freezing cold wave. And that’s difficult to predict because a storm needs time to be formed. But wait, isn’t Lebanon already witnessing a storm? So hasn’t the storm already been uh formed for that matter?

And what about the difference between a cold wave and a freezing cold wave? The next sentence of the article doesn’t provide the much-needed clarity. Instead, it brings more confusion:

“An extremely rare biting cold wave has swept Lebanon over the last two weeks, leaving at least three people dead and inflicting heavy losses on agricultural crops.”

OK, so we’re currently having an extremely rare biting cold wave…which will be followed by a freezing cold wave. Presumably, this last wave will be even colder than the wave we’re in right now. Somehow, that’s doubtful, though. After all, can there be anything even colder than extremely rare biting cold?

Thank God the laughter caused by reading this article warmed me up considerably!


adiamondinsunlight said...

Riemer, I am laughing out loud at your brilliant post. That article was dreadful - and your commentary points out exactly why. Thank you, thank you - you have made my day with this post!

JoseyWales said...

He's anonymous and he's an idiot.

In Lebanon that means he has a great future in politics or as an investigator.

Anonymous said...

Ja, die is heel goed. Moest er ook wel om lachen. Ik link 'm. :)